ADHD

we have been dealing with ADHD for 28 years...or what was thought to be that. i guess we didn't get it right the first time round, so we get to try again. guess what it's not looking real good this time either! We aren't completly sure this is what it is this time. It ended up being Bipolar Disorder the first time around! I am sure that isn't the case this time though! Maybe it's just a case of ASS!
ADHD not only alters your child’s self control and behavior, but also it invades your home and attacks your family. It can seriously deplete your limited time and energy.Everyone has an opinion why you can’t control your child. And you are embarrassed. You are embarrassed in front of your neighbors and your embarrassed in front of your friend's and you are embarrassed in front of your relatives.You feel guilty and helpless, you try to help, but nothing helps. Then on those really bad days when everything is going wrong … you know, when you have been run ragged and you’re worn out and maybe you yell at the kids too much.After a horrendous day and they are lying in bed the little voice comes out again and whispers to you."It’s all your fault. You’re a bad mother." we should know that it’s not our fault. ADHD is not your fault and it’s not your child’s fault. and you don't need to feel guilty....but that is also easier said than done!Something i have yet to learn! We have prayed for 30 years faithfuly and it just gets worse, please don't think I'm saying I don't think God can change a person or situation, or even heal...I KNOW HE CAN!!! I'm just saying in this situation for whatever reason he HASN'T!!! Maybe it's not the child that needs to change, maybe it is us. Maybe we just haven't learned how to deal with the problem.
I guess there is always the chance it's not ADHD at all. Maybe i am just a bad mother! Maybe if you are a easy child I can do a great job mothering, maybe when you are strong willed, I just can't do it! She told me yesterday that "you just don't seem like you love me anymore" it broke my heart. Sometimes I don't like her...is that wrong? She makes me sooooooooooooo mad! But I alway's love her...ALWAYS!!! I never want her to feel unloved.
So what to do??????? How do you deal?