I don't like this.............yet!

OK, so the day is here! Nicholas Taylor moved out. Yes I knew it was coming. After all he is getting married in 4 months, he's been moving his stuff out little by little for several weeks. So why do I cry every time someone says are you OK??????
NO...my baby boy is ....not a baby anymore! Last night it hit me all of a sudden, I was getting him a little first aid stuff together, and we have the boxes that we have always kept the kids medicine in,they each had their own. And I thought for one brief moment (BRIEF) I will just give him his box, right???? Will no way I can't give him his medicine, not THE BOX!!! That is so final. That's when it hit me...he's all grown up! He doesn't need me anymore, no more supplements on the counter, no more gym clothes on the floor to be washed, no more fussing over the computer time or back room time,no more wondering if we will be here to watch Davis while I pick up Jade,no more fish smell in the kitchen and alot less scheduling. And you know what I am going to miss him so much! This is what is suppose to happen right? Your son will leave his mother and father and the whole wife thing right....that's what the bible says. Well I am not ready to give him up...he will be missed so much!I just hope he calls, and I pray that he misses us as much as we will miss him!

the time has come

Okay....I knew it was coming. My baby boy is moving out. It's not like he hasn't gone before, he has.But this time is different....this time is for good! He's getting married, but not for 4 more months, so why can't he just wait till then?
It wouldn't matter

running out of time.........

Today as I sat in the carpool line....I have spent most of my life in a carpool line.
I read an article in Charlotte Woman. It stated that women are expected to live to be 80, and men 75!!!! That is just crazy! I am not ready to go anywhere! I have to admit that it SCARES me to thing of dying, or Bruce dying! He is my life, the love of my life, I don't want to live without him! I don't know how,and don't want to learn! He is my safe place, his love keeps me safe. Who would laugh at my crazy talk!
Who will call me doll? Who will love me....I will be all alone.

I Love You!

To my daughter Cassie

I read you blog tonight, your dad and I.As he read I cried over his shoulder. I am sorry that you felt ashamed...you had nothing to be ashamed of. But I understand.
I am sorry if I made you feel that way. I was NEVER embarrassed of you or Harper...I was hurt for you, I knew that this is not the way you in visioned motherhood starting for you. And I knew you had so many dreams...and I was disappointed for that reason...BUT again for you!
But as I sit here, I realize that your dreams have come true! You always wanted to be a mommy...always. And no matter how your journey started, it was God's plan and time. And it turned out perfect! 3 GREAT children, one on the way....and HARPER FAYE
our precious little princess....what a gift from God she is! And you are the most amazing mother I know!
But as I read I realized that you and I have something in common...that I never saw before...when it comes to Harper and Jade I think we both feel guilty...about situations surrounding them,and we both try so hard to make up for our guilt. And all they want is our love... that's all our children ever really want or need! Unconditional Love!


I Love You!
mommy