i you haven't noticed...

My blogs all seem to have a common trend. My kids and family... not that that is a bad thing. Family and kids are the 2 things that can bring you the most joy and the most pain. That in itself seems ironic to me. I try hard to be everything to everybody and I have finaly realized that you can't be. I love ALL my kids dearly, I try to be there for each of them . I wish things were different and Bruce and I were in a different place, where we had more time to spend just being grandparents, I think I mentioned in an earlier blog how I always had a vision of what being a parent would be like, I also had a vision of what the perfect grandparent looks like. Well I have failed that one too! I think if we were retired, had $$$ we would be the kind of grandparents that we long to be. If we didn't have a younger child ourselves,didn't both have jobs, and a mother to take care of along with everything that goes with that, we (I) would be the perfect grandmother! But since life got in the way it ruined that plan.Don't misunderstand me, I wouldn't change having Jade at all, she has and is such a blessing and brings such joy to our lives, couldn't imagine not having her! But I have realized no matter how much I try, and how much I am there for them....well lets just say if I were in jail nobody would send me money,write,visit or accept calls....just an example! That was alittle random! I just struggle with not being able to be there in the way I would like to be, even though I am where I need to be! Does that make sense????

random

Well, as you can see I am not real good at keeping up with this. My last post I was concerned about a mammagram. It went great! Thanks for all the prayers of my family and friends. I didn't know how worried Bruce was, he shared later that he was actually wringing his hands together nervously while waiting for me, he had said that he was worried "what if there wasn't a us anymore" I had worried about that as well! Thank you God for answered prayers!I will be around to worry him for many more years... We had Harper this week end it was so much fun, the girls love each other so much, and they play together really good.Of course girls will be girls , and they normally want their on way, so it can be a battle of wills.It is such a joy to watch them just be silly little girls. We are so blessed to have so many beautiful children and grandchildren. I love them all so much.