the party pooper of our kid's life

why is that i feel so guilty all the time??? i am always upset with jade, she is 9...
she is spoiled rotten, BUT it is not her fault...it is mine, and Bruce's, Cassie and Nicholas's, BUT it is me that i should be upset with. and i am, but it is her i take it out on. i just want to go up to her room right now and hold her and tell her how much i love her, and i probably will. and you know she will forgive me. Kids are like that, so forgiving...we should be more like them. but i don't want her to remember the times that i yelled and screamed at her, because i couldn't control her action's, i want her to remember HOW MUCH I LOVE HER!!!

I hope you have one just like you..................

so today Bruce took it upon himself to remind me to be careful what you wish for. you might just wind up with it yourself...i find myself comparing jade to michael. i don't want to, however there are some many things that are alike...eating habits,messes,schoolwork battles ( all of a sudden) and the need to always have the last word!i feel so bad all i do is fuss at her...yes she drives me crazy!!! she knows just what button's to push, and boy does she push! she is so smart and witty, she has the biggest heart, she can be so sweet but with a blink of an eye she is the wicked witch.sometimes i wonder how much of our problem is me???i know it's NOT all her, but i wonder how much is it my need to control. i know she isn't perfect...GOD knows i'm not....so why do i want her to be???? i think the biggest thing is i don't want her to go thru what michael went thru in school, i want her to have friends, and i want her family to love her and enjoy being around her. i pray everyday for my relationship with her...i love her so much. i do my best to show her everyday most of the time i feel i fall short. really most of my problem probably is from a feeling of guilt. i just want everyone to be happy, and most everyone is busy feeling
jealous, and there is no reason to. i love them all... i have enough to go round! i just wish they believed it!